Interesting things this past month! As I look back on my last post I realize I haven’t been able to release the unpolished gems that I had promised. I will work on that. I’m still not sure how to release the info before what feels like a completion to me, although that may not be important. Any suggestions are welcome.
I made some interesting connections in the Austin and San Antonio area, I then headed to my point of destination. The two year mark of holding a paying job passed on May 1st and it is looming large in my “mind”, so I headed to check out a consulting gig. I arrived to find that what had been promised for my comfortable stay in my RV was not a reality. The first week was scattered with me examining, observing and researching the job and area. It was not a comfortable fit either for my RV or me. I could solve many of the problems they were experiencing; my worker/rescuer was dressed and ready to dance! I couldn’t ignore the amount of distress I was physically feeling.
The atmosphere appeared to me to contain only frustrated and unhappy people. After 6 days of observing and connecting I made a giant leap for me! I decided that money or not, this wasn’t going to suit me. It was a carbon copy of a well ingrained past pattern and I was noticing it in 6 days! I was depleted and not looking forward to breaking the news that I had to leave but ecstatic I had noticed it before I took the dive. This may not seem like much, but changing life pattern habits are something to celebrate. I was aware enough to recognize what was best for me and act on it. In the past, others needs were my priority and myself, just a mere inconvenience. I delivered the news that I would be leaving and it came as no surprise and with understanding. I left making new friends and an invitation to return and great strides in my search for a new and more appropriate way of life.
I needed a new direction. After much frustration at the void I was in, I muscle tested. The results were surprising. I was to head north and not west as I had assumed. I did everything I could to try and alter this guidance. I went to grab my atlas to check for all the wonderful western spots I had learned about from fellow campers. My atlas was nowhere to be found. I recognized the ridiculous meter reading! My easy literal mind destinations had been taken from me. I grabbed the only useful map that I had of Texas, spread it out on the table and felt for some guidance. Immediately Hope, Arkansas stood out for me. I had done a meditation that morning and the word that was illuminated to me was Hope. I at least had something to point towards, but realized it was only that. Arkansas was a long way.
I drove till it felt like I should stop. I pulled out the state park map and knew exactly where I should be. I set my GPS and soon tucked into a waterfront site in a State Park North East of Dallas. Time to get my bearings back and nature is my best source for finding my true north.